Tag Archive for 'tears'

Pittsburgh airport, and I’ve just landed. I’m expecting to see her somewhere, and search for her face as I make my way out of the obstacle course of Arrivals and security. I feel as if it is taking too long, like wading through a mangrove forest, the Sundarbans of my emotions choking me off from functioning as my bipedal nature intends. I start to worry, because I can’t find her. My flight was delayed and I’m worried she’s gone. I can only hang around security so long, so I start to head toward the plane of oblivion known as baggage claim. Here people are usually trapped in a state of limbo as they watch the dice roll. A lucky roll will produce the correct bags, an unlucky one produces a conversation in a tiny office full of diagrams of luggage and detailed forms to complete. Strangely, there are few people here. I seem to be quite alone.

As I round a corner, my heart stops. My body no longer exists. I’m floating on a warm jelly substance toward a glowing light. Her hair is like liquid gold, her skin like a smooth white moon and the glow around her destroys my life and creates it anew. I barely manage to contain the confused tears which fight to gain the touch of air. As I draw near, her scent envelopes me like a layer of hot caramel. When I touch her, I feel like a newborn foal struggling to understand its own limbs. Is my touch foul or offensive? My very soul begs her to take my life for being unworthy. As I kiss her, I feel hot inside. The essence of her is burning the wrongness inside of me away. I look into her eyes and see the real sea. This isn’t that tropical blue but rather the blue-grey of the storm tossed sea, the sea reflecting the half light of dawn and dusk, the sea of the north, the sea of her people. This sea has a thickness, a luster and a heart. This sea is the sea of her eyes. I dive in and never come out.

empty baggage claim:
one heart alone departing
where two had arrived