and trying not to fall
So only one person replied to my previous post, but I guess I decided to shave my head today after being super hot and sweaty in our house (no air conditioning) today while I was drying dishes. I thought about how nice it would be to have no hair and so right after I finished up, I shaved it all off. I did a bit of playing around for the heck of it. I went for a biker look, an intellectual biker look, and then the finished job with and without glasses. Pictures below!
So, I’m thinking about shaving my head. I used to do it occasionally when I was in the military because it was convenient and took a while to grow back. I used to tell people that my head was actually my negative energy reappearing and that I had to shave it off to get rid of it.
I haven’t had my hair cut since I got out of the military, and it has grown quite long. In some ways, I quite enjoy having my long hair because I’ve wanted to have it this long for many years. In other ways, it is quite annoying. Until you have long hair you never quite realize how much shampoo you have to use to clean long hair. It is way more than I used before. I’m also finding it quite annoying during hot weather. When I sweat it wets my hair and it gets very gross. I do not enjoy that at all. I also find it difficult to sleep on my hair, so I kind of tuck it up underneath my head.
For years I saw beards and long hair as symbols of some freedom I could only have outside of the military. Now that I have them, I realize that the freedom I wanted was inside of me, and I’m still seeking it. Having a beard is more of a convenience thing rather than a fashion statement for me at the moment, and the long hair only remains until I decide to get rid of it. My question for you is, should I shave my head and beard? I’ll attach a 9 picture evolution in appearance below. It starts before I got out of the military last year and ends today.
The good thing is that I don’t see any hair loss so far, and it only took me 8 months to get it this long, so it isn’t as if I’m giving up something I can’t get back. Oh, by the way - the second picture is my interpretation of someone with “bling” and a “grill” in case you’re confused.
I’ve had a pretty lazy day. I’ve been getting a bit frantic lately for no reason. I guess that after all this time, I still have major doubts about which direction I should head in life. Honestly, I have no idea if I’ll ever resolve this stuff in my head. I know that I should write every day, yet I avoid it as if I hate it. After I avoid it, I feel like crap because I haven’t done it. When I actually get down to doing it, it is pretty enjoyable. What’s wrong with me? I feel so messed up when it comes to things like that. Instead of doing something, I agonize about how I should do it, spend hours reading about doing it and how I should do it, and coming up with alternatives to doing it which will make me rich and give me tons of time to do anything I want. In the end, I am stuck sitting here in front of my computer realizing the fact that I’ve just wasted another day which could be spent furthering my skill and lessening the pain to which I drive myself steadily. I need to find some sort of project which occupies my time - something which requires modest amounts of research and detailed writing based on that research. What I need is some sort of minor starting job to make me feel as if I can actually write instead of sitting here telling myself I might be able to write.
Ah, you were right, Edgar. In the case of my creativity, misery is manifold. You were a bit of a downer, I must say…how we do this to ourselves is beyond my comprehension.
Oh well. So, Valentine’s Day, eh? I wrote Steph a silly poem as my gift. We’re never really big about giving each other gifts, except on birthdays. It is nice to have no pressure in that sense, but I hope there isn’t some sort of rage building inside of her which will tear up swathes of rural Scotland if she decides to destroy me.
If anyone reads my posts anymore - hi! I used to have so many online friends, but now my reclusive nature has extended into my online presence and I guess I’ve built a hermitage in a tiny part of the web. Unfortunately, it is the part that has spiders and mildew and wretched stray dogs with fur worried patchy and thin by their gnashing teeth as they vainly try to rid their bodies of fleas. I always told myself I’d be happy to be a hermit, but I’m beginning to think otherwise in my old age. My vast 28 years of experience have yielded much wisdom, this being the latest data gem gleaned from that proverbial database. I long for a nice internet campfire with stories aplenty, a minstrel’s sweet ballads, ample food, good company and good cheer. Maybe I’ll build an internet campfire website - a web application of some sort. Social networking, and all of that.
What kind of websites don’t exist that you’d want? I’ll steal your ideas and make them. I’ll cut you in on the profit, though.
It was my 28th birthday the other day - on February 8th. Steph and I took the day off from work and went to Loch Tay where I found some nice driftwood for possible carving and stick making projects. We just drove around the Loch, mostly. It was quite a windy day, though it was sunnier than it has been of late. I took some photos:
So I must admit that I still haven’t done any carving lately, and I have yet to post my latest carving project photos in the projects section of the site. That’s partially because I realized that I only have photos of one of my projects. There is another set of photos on Steph’s camera and some I have to dig out from my email somewhere, as I forgot to take pictures before I gave the carving to my Dad and he sent pictures after I got back home.
Nothing is really happening today. We might go for a walk a bit later. There is a beautiful little stream I’d like to get a photo of if I get a chance today, but Steph’s still in bed. We went to bed quite late - I think at around 4:30-5:00 am, yet I woke up at 10 am and felt wide awake. I fear I’ll have burning eyes and a weary body later in the day to punish me for my silly sleeping schedule. There is really no reason other than being too lazy to go to bed. John and I have been working lately on a big project for a popular gaming site but we’re now almost done. There are a lot of little things to fix and clean up but overall it is in much better shape than when we inherited it. I don’t really want to give away the name of the site, but suffice it to say that John and I have been mentioned in several site and forum posts and we were mentioned in two of the weekly podcasts, which are quite popular. It was kinda cool to have the experience, and it was good for learning, but I’d rather have a regular schedule and more time to accomplish tasks. What I’d really like to do is learn to do custom vBulletin mod stuff and more server side scripting for maintenance (maybe with python or something - something useful for cron jobs and not horrible to look at, etc) and then be able to work independently on my own projects without having to kill myself over them. That way, I’d hopefully be able to get a lot done yet keep time for myself for writing, etc.
Speaking of writing, I guess things are going moderately. Not too fast, because I don’t really do much at the moment. Since my book is going to be based on my life experiences living in Scotland, I’ll need to get out and meet more people and do more things if I want this to really happen. I intend on making some changes soon. I have a few ideas, but I’ll leave those until later, as I’m not sure what I’ll do yet.
On the HandRooster front:
I know we haven’t done a comic in months. I know it’s probably annoying. I know I keep making excuses when I get emails. Believe me, I want to do this. I think I’ve finally convinced Steph to go forward with it, but we may be making slight changes in the way the art is done. At the moment, it just takes her too long to do them. It isn’t something we get any money for, and it seems like a lot of time to her to spend on something when she doesn’t always appreciate the humor or when she’s slaving away for hours on something I’ve written in 2 minutes time. I really feel her pain. I wish I could draw the thing, but my unsteady hands and warped sense of perspective would probably have people calling for my head. I don’t really want to go to low quality stuff after having broken the 100 comic barrier. Anyway, we should be moving on soon. I think Steph may be doing some comics next weekend, should I provide her with the material. I have some ideas, so we’ll hopefully have some good news for you before too long.
Well I’ve realized that it has been over 3 months since my last entry and another 3 since the previous entry. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy, but probably not that busy.
Most of you probably know that we’ve made the move to Scotland. We live in a little place called Strathtay near Pitlochry and Aberfeldy. Our house is called “Tayview Cottage” and as the name suggests, we have a view of the River Tay. It is a beautiful and peaceful place, but my peace comes mainly from the knowledge that I am now free of the military for good. I am no longer involved in all of that nonsense. I’m a civilian. Yay! I just hope all of my friends who are stationed all over the world are safe and happy, and not being forced to do anything horrible.
Steph and I are doing web development work with my brother in law, John. We’ve been starting at about 10:30 am and working until the late afternoon. It isn’t necessarily glorious work, but it is much better than what I was doing before. I’ll be getting into some server stuff at some point, which should be more what I’m used to. I’m also doing some writing, in an attempt to compile a book based on my experiences here in Scotland. I hope it will be good, but I guess it all depends on what I do here, what kinds of people I meet, and the activities I do. I also want to take a lot of photos and do a lot of walking. The scenery is great here. In fact, I’ll put a photo from behind our house below so you can see it.
We really haven’t gotten a chance to do much here yet, as we just got back from a 3 week visit to the states. We visited my family and had a good time. It was very snowy there for the majority of the visit, which was nice. We got to see my young nephew again and got a chance to see my sisters, my parents, and a couple of friends as well as some other relatives. We ate way too much food, which was enjoyable but bad for us. We also got some very nice Christmas presents. I carved a few things for presents before we left, so I’ll post pictures of those when I get a chance in the Projects section of my website.
I really want to get started on HandRooster again. We had quite a bit of success with it and had tons of traffic at the height of our relative fame, but we just didn’t have time to keep it up while we were getting ready to move and while I was getting ready to get out of the Air Force. That, and I was too stressed out to really concentrate on it. So, I really want to start again but I think that Steph is less keen on the idea. It really is much harder for her, as she has to spend a lot of time on the illustrations. My part isn’t as hard each day, but can be a bit difficult when I’m hurting for ideas. Anyway, we’ll see how that goes. I hope she comes round to the idea. I have a few ideas already, but it all depends on how much time we have.
Well, I’ll put 2 photos below. The first is the view from behind our house and the second is a photo taken from my parents’ balcony in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. Enjoy, and I hope you’re all doing great.
